The Last Saskatchewan Pirate

by The Arrogant Worms

I used to be a farmer and I made a living fine I had a little stretch of land along the C.P. line But times were hard and though I tried, the money wasn't there And bankers came and took my land and told me fair was fair I looked for any kind of job, the answer always no “Hire you now?” they'd always laugh “We just let 20 go” The government, they promised me a measly little sum But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum Then I thought, who gives damn if the jobs are all gone? I'm going to be a pirate on the river Saskatchewan!

Chorus: And it's a heave ho, high ho, coming down the plains Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains And it's a ho hey, high hey, farmers bar your doors When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

You'd think the local farmers would know that I'm at large But just the other day I saw an unprotected barge I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser I rammed their ship and sank it and I stole their fertilizer A bridge outside of Moose Jaw spans a mighty river Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are a-quiver 'Cause they know that Tractor Jack is waiting in the bay I'll jump the bridge and knock them cold and sail off with their hay

[Chorus]

Well, Mountie Bob he chased me he was always at my throat He'd follow on the shoreline cause he didn't own a boat But cutbacks were a-coming and the Mountie lost his job And now he's sailing with us and we call him Salty Bob A swinging sword, a skull and bones, and pleasant company I never pay my income tax and screw the GST Prince Albert down to Saskatoon, the terror of the sea If you want to reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me

[Chorus]

Well, pirate life's appealing, but you just don't find it here I heard that in Alberta there's a band of buccaneers They roam the Athabasca, from Smith to Fort Mackay And you're bound to lose your Stetson if you have to pass their way. Well winter is a-coming and a chill is in the breeze My pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze I'll be back in springtime but now I have to go I hear there's lots of plundering down in New Mexico

[Chorus]